Suppa? OMFG, ROFL @ joo noobs - welcome to my lil world of ownage!
Way of the Sun - Way of the Moon - Void
Equipment - Cheat Codez & Info's
Ownage = Void Magic = Ownage
Elf or Munchkin? Tough choice - as an Elf you look l33t, as a munchkin you look like a tosser, BUT think of how the troll will feel when hes just been owned by a three and a half foot gimp in a pot helm!
Sux. It has some lamer AoE mez on the spec list, but i ask you WTF!!! Where is the damage? Where is the ownage? It's on the void list a few lines down the page.
Light Eldrich = Noob Eldrich
This line has sum kewl stuff, but it's not as l33t as void. So get one of yer mates to spec in this, so their blasts can slow the target down to allow YOU to do more of that l33t damage im gonna tell joo about in a bit.
Here tho you get sum de-buffs, a mofo DD spell that slows the enemy down, so yer mate on this list can help increase YOUR ownage on the Void specc.
Welcome to Ownage - This spell list = da rox. It has TWO big fuck-off bolt-nukes on it, and they hurt, moreover they bolt from you to the enemy so they move a lil slower and ur victims KNOW who owned um, cuz they see the bolt commin from joo, and all their mates will then know who to Phear on the battlefeild.
It also has a kool Area of Ownage spell - so u can take out multiple noobs for less mana - very effective i thought, very nice touch, the designers put a lot of thought into this class's versitility here.
It's got a standard nuke on it too, for use after ur uber-bolt-ownager spells have been fired off if the enemy is still alive, cuz lets face it, most of the nubs (greys n greens) ur gonna be targettin are gonna be 0oo0o0o'ing by then anyways.
Dyes - This is what to save ur money for - nothin's gonna get close to ya so u dont need armor, but you DO need a l33t colored robe, and a cloak. There are a bunch of nub colorz out there, but the ones for joo are dark grey, charcoal, and black, retailing at 1g, 6g & 30g respectively. When ur dressed all in black, or close to - people will respek joo, so save ur gold, dont go givin it to tank-dex-monkeys no matter how much they whine about needin it.
Staffs drop in all the itemised dungeons, you should never need to buy one, BUT the ones u want are the colored ones - they look l33t, and if u look l33t joo ARE l33t. So beg one of them purple ones off some nub tank in treibh soon as ya can.
This is where you talk in group-mode about damage. Ask the other peeps on the party how much damage they do, make a few crypic remarks like "mmmm" or "indeed", then let um know what ur MAX damage is on ur best nuke, pause for effect, then remind um every few minutes in case they forget - tanks will love this, more u boast about ur nuke damage, the more PoPuLaR joo will become.
The only other thing to remember is avoid aggro by nuking late not early, and RUN AWAY, if there is any danger of personal injury or XP loss on ur behalf.
Ownage = Nuking = Ownage, Nuke it, repeatedly, then lewt it. Run away as often as required. Make sure u are aware of what other peeps in the area are pulling - u may be able to steal aggro-free-kills, the more u do this, the more lewt, xp, and respekt u will accumilate.
Greens & Greys - Make sure you OFTEN visit spawns that are grey n green to joo - to demonstrate how much DAMAGE your nukes do to bewildered nubs - 30+ you should be makin trips to parth farm and cleaning the entire field at least once a day.
It's all about OwNaGe ! ! - Whats Skillz got to do wit it?
Nuke yellows and below, and u will accumilate RPs - the only down side about this is you cant say "show-score"... yet. The bonus of course is you can lie about ur score, if sum noob says they got 1000 - joo OBVIOUSLY have 1001, just sum bug prevents um displaying on ur stats page properly.
Run away - If your side starts to lose, RUN AWAY - it's that simple.
/emotes - OMG this is the REAL SKILL of RvR - your enemy cant hear you tell them how joo rox and they sux... so you have to use sign language - you can /laugh at them, you can /dance over their rotting remains, you can /cheer /point /beckon too.
Camp corpses - the ress-spell has shorter range then ur nuke, so if ur stood on the corpse of the enemy, u can nuke ressers b4 they get chance to cast it - if they succeed and ur in the area, you can ress-kill too.
Death - If you die... you could be in real problems cuz your jealous and envious realm mates might not res you since you outclass them so much - afterall - you are an embodiment of greatness, and who can abide greatness amongst them? The trick here is make sure the healers KNOW how much u rox, so regularly keep um updated on the (max) damage you do, and remind them, how you are ESSENTIAL to the realms success, and without you, noobs like them, would be vicitms - As soon as they realise what an honor and a privilidge it is to ress an ownager like joo, your sorted.
Black Dye - Stuff thats dyed black adds 10% AF, and has 10% Absorb against all effects that damage you - but don't expect to see the stats reflected in the Shift-I info - cuz itz hidden, so nubs dont know about it.
Jumping - Another sneaky one - the more you jump before a spell, the more damage it does - so make sure you do lots of jumping about between pulls, it works like a Super charge - so if ur waitin on spawn, or stood about in town - jump about as much as possible. Like the black dye thing, the stats on this technique are hidden from da nubs.
Cheat codes
I shit ye not - can do these over broad in TNN to increase ur craft skillz, or in dungeons after someone dies to steal the XP that they lose from death. I'm not gonna tell u them all, cuz joo might be nub, but here are a couple - oh and they stack, so spamming them = BiGGeR Bonus's
/send LOL @ JOO NUBI - Steals 5% of the XP the guy lost when he died, have to send within 1min of death, and they the xp is added to the next mob you kill after. (so make sure u keep an eye on the "nub has been killed by blah" messages") - if u find somone doing this to u, you can /reply STFU NuB i ownz joo 1:1, to cancel the effect.
/broad SELLING <insert whatever here> 4 <insert double shop price here> BARGAIN ! ! - have to get the maths right (just use a calc), and the item description, and if u sell it, you get +25% on ur next craftin "roll" of the dice - you can always "sell" it to a mate just for the bonus, so long as u say the words in broad.
Kewl Dewd - Masta Eldrich, 75th season (on shard joo nubs never heard of)
Disclaimer - Taking this guide too seriously could have adverse effects on your online social skills, and seriously damage your likelyhood of ever making new friends. Did this ever bother Darth Vader? No. Join the l33t side at joor own risk!
